There’s been much ado in the news the past couple of days about the pregnancy of Bristol Palin, the seventeen-year-old daughter of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, presumptive Republican nominee for vice-president.

Reports are that  “family values” delegates and supporters of Senator John McCain are taking the revelation well, noting that out-of-wedlock pregnancies are among the things that happen in real families and that everyone makes mistakes, and applauding the fact that Bristol is going to give birth to her baby rather than have an abortion.

Bravo, I say, to this family that is rallying around their daughter and sister and promising her their ongoing love and support. They are offering the country a model of a truly pro-life response by preparing to welcome new life into their hearts.

I am a little concerned, however, about the other half of the announcement that always follows immediately on the news of Bristol’s baby: “and she’s going to marry the father.”

If “legitimizing” the child is a key element for the family values folks—and its invariable inclusion in the announcements by people connected to the campaign makes me think that the campaigners at least think it’s important—then I have a problem with them.

There is, after all, no such thing as an illegitimate child. Every child is a priceless gift from God—a premise Sarah Palin upheld when she bore her own infant son knowing he has Down syndrome. 

So why is everyone so pleased that this pregnant teenager is getting married?

We haven’t been told much about the baby’s father, and that’s appropriate enough—this family is dealing with a tough situation with little enough privacy. But I wonder how old he is, and, if he’s near Bristol’s age, how ready either of them is to take on the lifetime commitment of marriage and childrearing. I hope for their sakes that they’re among the lucky few who are ready to become instant adults. I hope that what looks to me like an old-fashioned shotgun wedding is instead the decision of two young people with their eyes wide open to freely choose each other as life companions.

If the Palins were to ask my advice—something most unlikely to happen—I would encourage them continue to be supportive of their daughter, but to postpone the wedding. Let them let Bristol know that they love her outrageously and unconditionally—she’s going to need love more than anything else during these next months—and let her have her baby, bring him or her home, and take significant responsibility for his or her care. Let them help her continue her education, but help her also to know that she now has the primary duty of nurturing a new life. Let the baby’s father help her, if he’s willing, and let him continue to woo her if he wants her. Let him find out some of the realities of parenting, including that a baby’s needs have to come first, and that for responsible parents teenage pleasures run a distant third, after education or perhaps a steady job. Let them both change some diapers. Don’t buy them a condo and a new car.

Then, maybe, talk about a wedding. If they’re both still interested, he may have proved himself good enough for a beloved daughter. If not, he wasn’t worth having in the first place. For Bristol, being an unmarried mother will be hard (I’m sure it already has been hard for her), but not nearly so hard as being a young mother stuck in a bad marriage. Her baby’s father may be the right man for her—but should she really be deciding that at seventeen?